I could teach a college course, I really fucking could...

I know far too much about cartoons. I don't claim to know *every* cartoon, but I know a lot.

First and foremost, though I've mentioned this before on Roverradio, but I hate Spongebob. Really. I hate just about every cartoon on Nickelodeon these days (as well as any non-cartoon shows). I know that I'm not the demographic that they're aiming at, but Holy Jesus, can't we try to have SOME kind of goddamn intelligence??

I look back at the cartoons I watched as a kid, and the ones I still try to watch, and I see what the rest of the world watches...

...

...Who's got a sledgehammer and a bottle of Jack Daniels!?

I've got the bottle! I don't have the hammer though.
I loved Captain Planet as a kid.
I wish I could find a channel that shows re-runs.
Anyone?
I also love Family Guy.
Obviously.
I'm watching it now.

I miss school.

Captain Planet is on Boomerang at 6am every weekday.

I always wanted to punch that wussy little Mati kid right in his fuckin' head. Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water I get... but Heart? My magic fucking ring with which I'm going to save the world is fucking Heart!? Fuck you, fuck your ring, and fuck your little monkey sidekick.

jitterypillow wrote:Captain Planet is on Boomerang at 6am every weekday.

I always wanted to punch that wussy little Mati kid right in his fuckin' head. Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water I get... but Heart? My magic fucking ring with which I'm going to save the world is fucking Heart!? Fuck you, fuck your ring, and fuck your little monkey sidekick.

I don't have Boomerang.
And he was like my favorite!
He was the non-conformist planeteer!
He didn't need any fucking element in order to be kick ass!

But he WASN'T kickass and he WAS conformist! He went along with whatever the other three went for (I say three because Wheeler, the only American kid, was the only one willing to question what they were doing thanks to good ol' American laziness). He was always getting kidnapped, or knocked unconcious. Christ, the fucking monkey did more for the cause than Mati did! He could at least turn the tip of his tail into a key and unlock stuff!

No, wait, that was Gleek from the Wonder Twins. Where was I? Who was I speaking to? When do I take my pills?? Gimme my fucking pills!!

I remember years ago when Cartoon Network started doing the Toonami stuff in the afternoons, and they replayed some of the cartoons that were big during my childhood, namely Thundercats and its first ripoff, Silverhawks (there was a second ripoff called Tigersharks that only 5 people besides myself remember). I remembered being a kid and loving these shows, and people always reference them, even to this day, so when they replayed them, I watched, hoping to relive those memories.

You know what I saw? A lot of my childhood was fucking crap. The Thundercats are awful. Terrible. A fucking half-brained retarded lizard-cat babysits a kid that was grown in a test tube, that for some reason everybody lets walk around with a dagger that becomes this ultimate fucking sword. Meanwhile, the children are allowed to play with explosives, while the black guy with nunchucks ('cause blacks liking Bruce Lee isn't TOO much of a stereotype) and the weirdo with one shoulderstrap and a bullwhip take turns with the only adult female on the fucking planet. Oh, and the old man's ghost hangs out with the grown little kid, acting like Herbert from Family Guy. "Hmm... you grew up big and strong! Whoop! Now MY Sword of Omens is starting to grow..."

Not as bad as He-Man, though. A guy in a pink leotard hides the big secret from his father about who he really becomes when "he has the power". He fights a skeleton while wearing bondage straps and furry underwear, and hangs out with a big tiger like he's fucking Seigfried and Roy. Which, well, he might have been.

All I have to say if that I had to grow up with the likes of the Animaniacs... Gargoyles... Pinky & the Brain... etc., etc.

No wonder my generation is fucking half retarded.

...

I like all three of those.

They at least tried to get kids to think! Gargoyles actually inspired a generation of kids who would otherwise be doing nothing but playing video games to read Shakespeare. Animaniacs tried to teach history, science, English, and of course morals with the Wheel of Morality!

It also taught us to stare at and drool on nurses with big tits. Did I mention I married a medical assistant?

The Hub network now plays the old GI Joe and Transformers cartoons, as well as new series based on each one.

Old Transformers episodes = almost complete crap. Very disappointing. Why are all my memories of it good, but the actual show sucks?

Old G.I. Joe episodes = 50/50. There are a couple episodes I remember as a kid, and watching them now, they still hold up. Then there are others that cause me to facepalm in the middle of my living room.

New Transformers cartoon = lame. I tried watching a little, and just could not muster any kind of interest. I still have the first 5 episodes on my DVR in case I try to watch 'em again, but in all reality I'll just end up deleting them.

New G.I. Joe cartoon = kick ass! The best part about the Hub network's existence, as far as I'm concerned, it G.I. Joe Renegades. This modern update of the old Joe mythos is pretty friggin' cool. Cobra is now a big corporation that most people love, but secretly is trying to take over the world (think Walmart). Scarlett puts together a team to uncover evidence of their wrongdoings, then get framed for a crime they didn't commit (think the A-Team plus a ninja). There have been a couple changes along the way I haven't liked (Destro's mask looks like shit, and just because the guy's name is Firefly doesn't mean he's a pyromaniac), but there have also been things that are really friggin' cool. I am definitely a fan!

And while it has nothing to do with the previous topic, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! on Disney XD is fucking sweeeeeeet!!


I'm a geek.

i love the squidbillies

jitterypillow wrote:No, wait, that was Gleek from the Wonder Twins. Where was I? Who was I speaking to? When do I take my pills?? Gimme my fucking pills!!

I remember years ago when Cartoon Network started doing the Toonami stuff in the afternoons, and they replayed some of the cartoons that were big during my childhood, namely Thundercats and its first ripoff, Silverhawks (there was a second ripoff called Tigersharks that only 5 people besides myself remember). I remembered being a kid and loving these shows, and people always reference them, even to this day, so when they replayed them, I watched, hoping to relive those memories.

You know what I saw? A lot of my childhood was fucking crap. The Thundercats are awful. Terrible. A fucking half-brained retarded lizard-cat babysits a kid that was grown in a test tube, that for some reason everybody lets walk around with a dagger that becomes this ultimate fucking sword. Meanwhile, the children are allowed to play with explosives, while the black guy with nunchucks ('cause blacks liking Bruce Lee isn't TOO much of a stereotype) and the weirdo with one shoulderstrap and a bullwhip take turns with the only adult female on the fucking planet. Oh, and the old man's ghost hangs out with the grown little kid, acting like Herbert from Family Guy. "Hmm... you grew up big and strong! Whoop! Now MY Sword of Omens is starting to grow..."

Not as bad as He-Man, though. A guy in a pink leotard hides the big secret from his father about who he really becomes when "he has the power". He fights a skeleton while wearing bondage straps and furry underwear, and hangs out with a big tiger like he's fucking Seigfried and Roy. Which, well, he might have been.

You shut your mouth with ripping on Thundercats! Thundercats are not awful or terrible or anything else along those lines. The fact you call that crap along with other older cartoons just proves you're a bitter old fart.

Two words, honey. "Ro-bear Burbles."

jitterypillow wrote:Two words, honey. "Ro-bear Burbles."

Honey? Okay there BongWaterPillow since he would pull that same shit with me knowing it annoyed me.

Thundercats - HO!!

I friggin love the Thundercats! And this smiley.

Didn't know it annoyed you. No offense meant.

DxLISH wrote:Thundercats - HO!!

I friggin love the Thundercats! And this smiley.

You get a gold star for that. BongWaterPillow on the hand gets a flaming bag of poo for hating Thundercats.

omg who hates thundercats? I so want them to make that into a movie just so i hear the opening

Are you going from your childhood memories, or have you actually gone back and watched this stuff? I mean, Thundrillium? Thundrainium? Dear God almighty...

And SNARFER! The only thing worse than fucking Snarf is his little nephew SNARFER!! Sweet merciful fucking Ass-Christ...

Are you forgetting about Cheetara?

Nope. But one animated hottie is not enough to make me forget mediocrity and dreck.

And what was with Mumm-Ra's little bulldog sidekick? Did that thing do anything other than sit around licking his nuts? I guess when you're a screaming mummy, thousands of years old, you gotta keep some mutt or another around for that jar of peanut butter! Maybe Ssslythe turned him down. And Monkian. And Vulture-Man. And the Luna-tiks.

Thundercats = home of the worst Rogue's Gallery since Voltron.

Hey leave Voltron alone

i actually had the whole collection, i use to get all exciting when that show came on

these cartoons now a days suck

jitterypillow wrote:Are you going from your childhood memories, or have you actually gone back and watched this stuff? I mean, Thundrillium? Thundrainium? Dear God almighty...

And SNARFER! The only thing worse than fucking Snarf is his little nephew SNARFER!! Sweet merciful fucking Ass-Christ...

Yeah I have gone back and watched it. As I said...hating Thundercats is proof that you've turned into a bitter old man. You're the old man sitting on the front porch yelling at kids to get off his lawn and get out of his yard. You're the cranky old man talking about how back in his day he used to walk uphill to get to school.